Ireen and Andrea were cleaning house this weekend but you wouldn’t know it by the looks on their faces. They were a cheery bunch as they swept and mopped indoors. These are the faces that brighten my day and keep me going. Oh, by the way, Ireen took the pictures. She asked if I would post the one she took of herself.
To pray and ask God for $120,000 seems crazy but in the morning I find myself on my knees asking the Lord for this very thing. The infusion of capital funds that are needed to get the ministry center related projects towards completion isoverwhelming. I begin to wonder how I’ve found myself immersed in the middle of such an initiative. It’s not hard to imagine how a person, given my tendencies, gets preoccupied with the next phase of development and other mission matters. Will God make these funds available for missions in Zambia? Will He provide the necessary personnel to make it all happen? To be honest, I’m not sure… After all, I’ve pretty much exhausted all my resources. How will the vision be fulfilled?
Evidently, God doesn’t think it’s important for me to know the answers to those questions… at least not right now. One thing I do know is that He has countless purposes in giving me any one dilemma. This afternoon, I was meditating on the love of God and how it is often displayed in the lives of the saints; and how, when the people of God pray and no immediate solution is found, they feel as if they are in a desert.
One author I was reading said that God takes everyone whom He loves through a desert and that it is His cure for a wandering heart. Jack Miller writes further, “The first thing that happens is that we slowly give up the fight. Our wills are broken by the reality of our circumstances. The things that brought us life gradually die. Our idols die for lack of food.” And I suppose that it is true. It is the dry air of the desert places in our life that brings the sense of helplessness that is so crucial to the spirit of prayer.
Like I said, sometimes I wonder how God has purposed for us to complete the vision for our rural ministry center. I haven’t thought as much about why God has purposed for me to be involved in that work. Perhaps its because it’s a herculean task that can’t be accomplished by human endeavoring. Perhaps He knows that people like me will try solutions by their own endeavoring and will fall short. Perhaps He’s fostering a sense of urgency and soul-filled thirst that brings me back to Him.
David wrote, “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1
Our deserts lead us to the heart of God, and as Miller puts it, “He finally gets your attention because he’s the only game in town”. As I continue to pray for that $120,000, I can see that this has nothing to do with money but that it has everything to do with my helpless, needy self that has a longing for God. It’s a $120,000 lesson that I hope will have a grand conclusion, but even if the struggle for funds continue, God will be at the center of it.
